Football player: *turns around in chair and opens his mouth*
Me: *sigh, close book, and look up*
FB player: Cheerleading isn't a sport.
Me: Yes it is.
FB player: No it isn't.
Me: Yes it is. I think that football isn't a real sport.
FB player: Yes it is! We run and condition and stretch!
Me: So do we.
FB player: No, you guys aren't defending anything! We're defending a goal!
Me: We're defending our title. What title are you defending? The longest losing streak?
FB player: We went to the play offs this year!
Me: On a wild card. (I'm kinda annoyed at this point.) When was the last time you got into state on your own merit? Your team hasn't won state since the 70s.
FB player: We play in games though!
Me: We have league and state. We have several runner-ups in league, two state championships and a runner up in the toughest divisions in our league and then we compete again agaisnt every single co-ed team in the state. We always compete against several other teams when you only play against one per game. We've won more trophies than the football team has in the last 10.